Dont take this too seriously- this is an outlet for me, and Im not looking for any hate or vitriol- I just need to get stuff out of my mind and into space.
The past few weeks have been interesting for sure. Im not sure If I should write or draw my thoughts- since I am not the best at expressing my ideas. 
About 2 weeks ago my back went out- and I could barely leave my bed. Once the pain lessened-, I was still just stuck in a chair- and during that time I found an interesting youtube channel. Its a channel whose host is a Black guy, probably in his late 20s- with more conservative views but apparently this past year hes leaned more left. This has created a wide audience of competing views that I was able to interact with.
I watched the entire trial, and for the most part I agree with the channel owner, in that the one instance (Rosenberg) was NOT self defense. I am willing to concede to ONE bullet being self defense- because he got shot in the hip and was disabled.
What I find disturbing though, is that a large amount of people in the chat (of about 2000 total people) think that "defending yourself" is and must include killing the other person. There is no room for disabling someone from hurting you- because these people think that you can only disable an attacker by killing them. Im upset that the trial ended the way that it did- because it just gives those people more shoot and kill people running at them with. sigh.
Whenever someone dies, and the media doesn't want you to feel bad for them, they WILL find something to make the dead...less dead. For Rosenberg it was the horrible things he did in the past- and while I refuse to speak on karma or 'cosmic justice' (which ive heard a LOT) that has nothing to do with American justice. People will say that if you support Rosenberg (or almost any person killed by the police lately with any amount of criminal past) then you support their misdeeds. I am a survivor of abuse- I, and my siblings lived with a pedophile for years before my Moms brain kicked in and she dumped the guy. I hate that man with my soul- and if he were in Rosenbaums place I would be happy he was dead. I would also STILL think this was not a case of self defense. Its a case of an idiot with a gun who is a bigger man-child than the one he killed (Im only speaking on Rosenbaum), then panicked and kept shooting. Panic doesn't make you immune to law. 
People in this country will dismiss a human life if they can find any reason to vilify them, and it hurts my soul. There is a lot of hatred in the hearts of the average American, and not a lot of critical thinking. When asked to support their views most people said it was self defense because 'a pedophile lunged at him' and he 'could have had a weapon' Even though we know Kyle knew he had no weapon (people will argue against the kids own words) and the guy wasn't lunging- he was falling from a shattered pelvis, palms up, thumbs down. People don't want to hear the facts though they just skim the bullet points and disregard the rest. Seeing so many thousands of people saying stuff that is proven false, but then doubling down on it when confronted with evidence... I just hope that I never find myself in any bad situations because it's very clear that a 'jury of peers' would probably include a heft number of idiots that weigh emotion over fact.
I did a painting of Thomas Binger while watching the trial. I think he did a great job but that he expected too much common sense from the jury. Some people need to be told explicitly what to think instead of being led there. I feel horrible for the guy- he made a great case, but the judge was on the defense's side, and the jury only included "one black" which at this point is one of the few types of people I expect to really think past "mah second amendment" and put theirselves in Kyles shoes. If it were almost anyone else, any other race, or someone older- they would have been guilty- and this wouldn't be national news. People may argue that my thinking that way is racist but I'd argue that the media and a lot of law enforcement are too. If you don't look like an all American boy, you get a different set of laws.
People HATE Binger- and thats half the reason I'm writing this- to break up the disgusting pile of hatred people are putting on this guys name. Hopefully this gets indexed and makes it's way up, so that the guy can google his own name and not see a sea of stupidity. I am really really hurt by how he is being treated, and how people want to destroy him. Thomas Binger I hope you stay save and have a happy and safe end of the year. I guess I cant be surprised by the animosity- these are people who think property is more important than a human life, and will argue with you on that point. 
F that judge
F Kyle Rittenhouse
F anyone who thinks people deserve to die on the streets for crimes that have nothing to do with why they were shot

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